Open: And they're gonna bend their branches down to lay their fruit upon the ground

[vineleaves]

Dionysus is in a kitchen, apron tied over a purple dress with vine details, singing to himself as he uses a melon baller to scoop out a watermelon. The large bowl next to him is already full of honeydew melon and cantaloupe, and he's got a few other ingredients nearby ready to add in once he's done with the watermelon. Mint leaves, some honey, some lemon juice, and some lime juice.

It has been quite an eventful time lately, but overall his life is pretty great right now.

Comments

[sporesprouter]

"We haven't invented any, but people from other worlds have visited mine."

[vineleaves]

"Interesting! In my universe, humans have invented spaceships, but only in the last several decades, and there's only been a small handful of people who have gone to space, and they've only gone as far as the moon. They, ah, sent some robots to Mars though. One of them sings happy birthday to itself every year, apparently. Or something like that."

[sporesprouter]

"Is Mars another planet, then?"

[vineleaves]

"Oh, yeah, next planet over. They named it after one of my brothers¹."


1. It should be noted that he does NOT say this in the same tone Nathan Lane said 'my brother' in that video compilation we just watched in chat.

[sporesprouter]

"I think it would be kind of strange to have a planet named after you."

[vineleaves]

"... It's -- supposed to be a big honor..." look he really doesn't want to get into the whole 'Étienne named this planet after him' thing right now.

[sporesprouter]

"Oh, I don't think it isn't an honor! I'm sure it is! It would just feel a little bit weird to me, to look at a whole planet and think... this whole thing is named after me. But I'm sure your brother deserves it."

[vineleaves]

Dionysus laughs exactly once and rolls his eyes. "He's the god of War, he's an asshole. I guess people who like wars think he deserves it."

[sporesprouter]

"Oh. Then definitely not. You should call it something else instead."

[vineleaves]

"Mercury, Venus, Earth, Something Else, Jupiter -- actually while we're at it I might call that one something else too. Earth, Something Else, Something Else Too, ...Something Else Number Three, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Actually some people don't consider Pluto a planet anymore, I think, but I think my uncle still deserves a planet."

[sporesprouter]

"If it were up to you, what would the Something Elses be?"

[vineleaves]

"That's a great question. Maybe just random names that have nothing to do with my family. There's probably been a lot of nice people named -- I dunno, Erin¹, for example, who deserve a planet named after themselves."


1. Just as a totally random example.

[sporesprouter]

"That's an option. Or maybe just words that aren't normally used for names at all? Like a planet named..." She looks down at her bowl. "Melon."

[vineleaves]

"Ooh, that's perfect, they're even usually round, like a planet!"

[sporesprouter]

"One could be melon, one could be orange..."

[vineleaves]

"Pea..."

[sporesprouter]

"Plenty of options."

[vineleaves]

"I do think any future planets discovered should absolutely be named after round food."

[sporesprouter]

"That sounds like a great idea to me."

[vineleaves]

"People keep inventing new round food too, so it's not like we would run out any time soon."

[sporesprouter]

"Plenty of space for more planets."

[vineleaves]

"Yeah, I think there's a lot that people've found and just named, y'know, numbers and stuff, not real names." He could be wrong on that. He doesn't really pay attention to that sort of science.

[sporesprouter]

"That seems... kind of dull?"

[vineleaves]

"It does, doesn't it. Planet Onion is a much better name.

[sporesprouter]

"And very evocative, too."